Why I Need a Support System

Well, this wasn’t my intended next post, but given the way I’m feeling today, I figure I will inject it here, anyway. Some days are better than others, and this is one of those others. Today I’m having a lot of pressure and tightness in my chest. It hurts, and it is annoying, and it is very limiting. It is also very tiring. I’m not able to do much of anything, and it is times like these that make it a bit more difficult to keep up my spirits. It is one thing to be super positive and hopeful when things are going relatively well, but when things take a turn in what seems like an instant, it is a reminder to me how fast things can indeed take a turn.

My Family Support

Additionally, today I am reminded why I’ve set up the support system I have, so I’ll talk about that now. My mom was helping with the kids from the time I flew to the Mayo Clinic in mid-November until December 30th. I have no idea how we would have survived this transition without her. My stepmother is due to arrive this Saturday and stay for three weeks to help me. I’m sure this, too, will be invaluable to our family. In the meantime, I’ve started to set up a local support system for when all my long-distance family leave us.

My Hired In-Home Support

After interviewing five possible candidates, I’ve hired a woman that will become our Family Assistant starting this Tuesday. She will come to us on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays (the same days our three-year-old son goes to preschool). She will help take care of the baby, keep the house picked up and cleaned, get the laundry done, run errands, and even cook our meals. (One bonus we are all so looking forward to is the cooking!) She’ll basically be here to do whatever it is that I haven’t been able to do, which could vary greatly depending on the day/week, and how I’ve been feeling.

I’m very excited for her to become a big part of our family. I initially interviewed four candidates. None were perfect, but I needed to pick one. Then, at the last minute, I received her message on Care.com. All her words were perfect. Her picture showed a smiling, peaceful, and kind-looking person. I just got this feeling that she was the one. We made a plan to meet over the weekend, and all my initial hopes about her came true, and I offered her the job at the end of the interview. She’s so positive and outgoing and willing to do what needs to be done for our family. It has been such a relief to me to know she will soon be here. While my stepmom is here, our family assistant will help get through some of the house projects that have been lingering for months which could never be accomplished by me. This will help get us to a good starting point once by February.

Babysitter and My Obligations

On Mondays, I will take the three-year-old and one-year-old to a babysitter that lives nearby. This will be a day that I try to schedule the majority of my appointments, recoup from the weekend, catch up on bills and phone calls, and do all the things that I could do in the house if the kids weren’t underfoot.

On Wednesdays, I will have a full day of ski lessons for the kids at two different resorts. First, for my three-year-old in the morning and then the five-year-old in the afternoon. I’ve opted to put the one-year-old with the babysitter, again. I can’t imagine toting her around all day long, and she will be far happier, and my life will be far more manageable if I can just concentrate on getting the skiers and their equipment to the right place and on time.

Am I Over Doing It?

Some days I wonder if I went overboard with the help and that maybe if I just used my oxygen more or planned my day better, then I could manage on my own. But, as you can now see, that tide can turn. Today I’m in pain. I’m uncomfortable. I’m very very fatigued. I was up in the middle of the night for a couple hours for no reason whatsoever, so I’m sure that isn’t helping, either. On a day like this, every small bit of effort seems like I’m running a marathon. On a day like today, I’d be pretty lost without help. Thankfully, today is Sunday, and my husband has been to the rescue all day long.

Looking for the Rainbows and Unicorns

So, for the most part, I will have some type of coverage every day of the week. And since I can’t predict which days I will feel the way I feel right now or which days I end up in the ER I’m actually trying to figure out now if I need to get checked out for my current chest issue. (I was already there unexpectedly twice in the beginning of December, so it isn’t farfetched that it could happen anytime.)

So, now you can see too that I’m not always full of rainbows and unicorns. (Although I do like that place better than this one.) Sometimes I have tough days – days that make all this real – days that make me think too much – days that can make me cry at times. But never fear; I won’t stay in this place for very long. From the start of all this happening, my mantra and philosophy has been, “Let it flow and let it go!”

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